from xs to xl

hai, assalamualaikum. its kinda hard for me to start blogging again, but hey, this the only wayy for me to express my self, so, why not kan ?

so, its not too late to say " Hello 2013, please be good to me " =)

alhamdulillah, 2013 welcomes me with a surprise that i couldn't tell anybody just yet. hiks. :)

i, wanted to write this, just to share my experience. bcoz im soooo kinda sad when someone have a bad idea about me when they found my "gambar zaman dahulu kala". come on, people change, so do pictures. i mean, i look better in person rather than in picture. okbai. 

its kinda hard for a person, from zero, and she developed everything, by herself. english berterabur. whatever. hurm. frankly, i'm just started wearing tudung in my 4th year of high school, (over nyah, masa form 4 sudeh), which it was 6 years ago. omg, i thought i was just 2 years ago. im so old now. but hey, dulu pakai tdung pun aku dah rasa riak dgn diri aku, at least i'm improving myself to be better. pakai tdung with those 'xs' size baju and all. dulu skinny tak 'in' lagi, so pakai seluar jeans straight cut sudeh. after a while, lepas spm cm pakai baju "xs" version labuh skit, atleast ttup pungkoq. thanx lah ye ustazah yati ajar kami pakai baju longgar ttup pungkoq sbb bnda tu melekat dalam naruni ku, minus baju longgar part. hiks. but hey, at least kan. after that mula berjinak pakai 'anak tudung', well hey, bagi kami budak sekolah perempuan, its a big deal. masa sekolah mana pakai anak tdung, sampai kne dimerit bagai. 

After a while, i started tu "labuhkan" tudung a bit. at least xselimpang tdung, maybe sebab budak band dah biasa pakai tdung "butterfly", so its not that hard for me lah. after a while, with baju size "s" labuh ttup pungkoq with tudung "butterfly", then only i decided to re"shuffle" my wardrobe. its not a suitable term, i know, but who cares. im not taking an english 1119 exam now. so who cares. i bought all "makciks" kind of shirt. i bought nice blouses from zara, because at first i just like that nice blouse. but bila dah biasa pakai, i feel comfortable with it, and started to wear cheaper blouses (cheaper than zara blouses of course) . and luckily i'm not that rich to buy any Ralph Lauren shirt, bcoz it will be hard to give away ur Ralph Laurenssss when u dont want to wear that anymore ayte. haha. and day after day, Allah make it easier for me, bila sekarang aku rasa gemuk, so i will buy only L size blouse. so, my wardrobe currently have all L size "makciks" blouse. 

Apa yang aku cuba buktikan kat sini ? i just want people, to know that we have different struggle. luckily aku ada dettol, dye bella marni and all. sebab they make me strong. and of course muaz. he always help me through. alhamdulillah, just realize yesterday, me and dett kind of compete, obviously bukan lawan2, i mean, i started that, then she started this, and we help each other out. she gave me advises and strength. so i would like to thank her, and dye bella marni and all jugak. 

its hard u know, from baju size 'xs' to 'xl', it took courage and patience and passion and everything nak change to be better, this just an example, just 'luaran'. of course its harder to change everything inside out. so, i just want/ need those judgmental people who wear tudung labuh and all, u shouldn't make us apart, you should help people like us to go through, bukan judge or kutuk or anything yg seumpamanya. 

we have different struggle dear sisters, so we shouldnt be judgmental when we see something not our 'thing', we should be optimist. 

sorry merepek panjang pulak today, im sorry if ada sini or sana yang terasa, this is just me, my thought and my way to express. not to impress anybody. have a great day, assalamualaikum. :)